how to eat when you have to

6 months ago I did a post on losing 40 lbs. Now it's time for a rehash of that post. It's also a draft for my 7th TM speech, "Research your topic" I lost 45 lbs in less then two years, and today I'm going to tell you how I did it. First of all, let's see what we're talking about: (Snatches a 45 lbs kettlebell) This is 45 lbs. You can pass it around. Please don't loose it! By the way, let's revisit the terms. Do you think it's possible to loose 45 pounds? Try it! I'm sure it would be easy to find. So first of all, you never lose 45 lbs at once. You need to slice it and dice it, chip little pieces, an ounce here, a quarter-pound there, and you keep doing other stuff to keep your mind occupied. Weight loss is what happens to you while you're busy doing other stuff. Same goes for weight gain. And growing old. And getting strong. And loosing your mind. It all takes time and consistency. Now let's see if we have some weight loss experts h...

-Hello I'm a Verizon FIOS customer service representative. -No. You are not. You are a machine. Can I speak to a real person? -I can help you. -No. You can not. We tried it before and you could not help me. I want to speak to a human being. Take me to your leader! -Please listen carefully because our menu options have changed... -I don't care about your menu options! I care about my problem! You don't understand it because you are a stupid robot! I want to speak to an agent! A Human! Flash and Blood!!! -I don't understand! -YOU IDIOT!!! GO AWAY!!! GIMME HUMAN!!! HOMO SAPIENS!!! AAAAAHHH!!! ... and then the voice answering service turned passive-aggressive on me. It turned the elevator music on and became unresponsive. There's a happy end to this story, but first let's talk about what technology wants. "What Technology Wants" is a book by Kevin Kelly , a founding editor of Wired magazine.  If you read it you'd learn that Technology is ver...

You can't shock a 20-something native Russian speaker with a curse word. For two reasons: Russian language has 45 million curse words, and most curse words are just nicknames for lovemaking tools and preferences. But this word I first heard in Israeli army really shocked me. I'll tell it to you in Hebrew so that it sounds as foreign to you as it sounded to me back then. Alex hu maniack , sociomat, ein lo Motivatzia... Which means, "Alex lacks motivation" Ladies an gentlemen, Motivation is a curse! Hear me out and you'll learn about the history the word 'Motivation', how to use motivation as a glue when you build your corporate pyramid, and how you, my friend, are different from a wind-up monkey When I first heard the word Motivation, I knew it meant something really bad, but all I understood was that motivation is an ability to want something you don't want. Like dying in a battle serving your country. Call me crazy, but I was happy that I ...

When it comes to food pyramids, I totally trust my government ( I like MyPyramid, I think my people should have copyrighted this term back in ancient Egypt). If you look at the picture it's very clear that in order to be healthier you should walk on the rainbow while skipping stairs and at the end you die. In other words, you should eat whatever you are hungry for, an the higher you are on the ladder, the less food you need. But food pyramids are not interesting. Because eating is just a bodily function, and is definitely not as interesting as walking on rainbows. Cooking , on the other hand is a fascinating topic. And in the next 5 minutes I'm going to tell you all I know about cooking. I compressed my knowledge into a Cook Pyramid. Each level of the pyramid is a level of understanding. The levels are : People, Ingredients, Timing and Construction. First and foremost, cooking is about people. You cook to make someone's life delicious. You cook because you care. You cook ...

The fist night of Sukkot was hot, humid and full of anticipation: will we make it? Right after coming back from the Maariv, I did the Kiddush, we washed, had a piece of bread, and then the rain landed on us like a ton of bricks. The lighting was hitting feats away from us and the thunder never stopped, the wind was so strong that I kept thinking about Dorothy's house in the Wizard of Oz. (In order to kill an evil witch with a sukkah, one should flip the sukkah it on its side) We got back to the house and finished our meal there. Not perfect , since one should eat in the sukkah on Sukkot, but considering the weather conditions, still OK. When I got back to work, the heavens were still misbehaving. It was a perfect Monday weather: wet, grim and  unwelcoming. And as an added bonus, my teammate was out sick, so half of our project was taboo. But I still made some progress. Not enough by some standards, but better then nothing. This morning I overslept badly ,and got to the Shahari...

In his book "The Design of Design" Fred Brooks Writes: "The critical thing about the design process is to identify your scarcest resource". An abundance of such scarce resource will create a feeling of luxury.   In the first 10 years of my life my scarcest resources were my parents. They were always busy working, learning and partying. That's why Saturday mornings felt so luxurious. They both were home. We made home-fried potatoes for breakfast and ate them at the tiny table that could fit 3 plates and nothing else. We lived in Kiev in a studio apartment, filled with  Mom's jewelry, Dad's art projects, their clothes, books, vinyl records, wine bottles, coffee cups and cigarette butts. It was perfect. Everything in my little world smelled, looked and sounded like my scarcest resource. But my parents felt different. Every couple of weeks they would catch a neat-picking bug and would start cleaning. "I hate this mess! I can't live like this! ...

Ever since I was a tiny kid my parents insisted on answering every little "Why" that came out of my mouth. It does not mean I could change their minds easily. They usually stuck with their decisions but at the same time they were open to explanations. That's how I became a Why-Nerd. Nerds are everywhere. Some people are Computer Geeks, others are Movie Buffs, Fashionistas, Gymorexics, or Music Freaks, Workaholic Perfectionists, Corporate Tops and Intellectual Voyeurs.  A nerd would be extremely knowledgeable and  would keep high standards in his nerdy domain. Both knowledge and high standards come from practice and analysis. A Why-Nerd is no different.  I might not know what am I doing or where am I going, but I always know why. I don't know what is going to happen next, but once it happens I start looking for answers. I keep very high Becausabilty standards by asking "Why?" all the time. Does it pay off? Sometimes. If you are buying a computer you c...

If you plan to watch "Inception" don't read any further. Or go watch Shutter Island. I loved Nolan since "Memento" but Scorsese he is not. In the last couple of months I have seen DiCaprio struggling with insanity four times: thrice at home, by re-watching the Shutter Island DVD over and over before returning it to Netflix, and once yesterday, in the middle of IMAX Theater while he was trying the Inception on me. First I thought the Inception was working because the movie took too long and I did not remember the beginning. But then  I woke up and got bored. Because there was too much of irrelevance: too much Matrix 10 years too late, too much shooting in fighting when it does not hurt, too much dreaming when it was time to wake up, too much silly questions when we remember the answers from all the other movies.  And behind all that I was seeing the usual suspect, an evil MBA in a suit. I knew Nolan could do much better only if he could stop shooting the ne...

A young woman was hit by a commuter train in a neighboring town two days ago. She was crossing the rail tracks while texting an listening to an iPod. All the people waiting for the train were screaming to warn her. She did not hear them. According to this article , UK sees 17 fatalities of this kind every day. It's heartbreaking. And I am writing this post because I believe we can prevent it. The authors of "Ethics of The Fathers" had different versions of things that take a person out of this world: The evil eye, the evil desire and hatred of his fellow creatures Sleeping away the morning, drinking at noonday, childish playing and sitting in the meetinghouses of the unlearned Jealousy, lust, and ambition Should we add a modern-day version of the list: Earphones, Smart-phones and LCD displays take a person out of this world Don't get me wrong, I love my iPhone, the Internet, loud music and addictive games. I'm a big fan of movies, vodka, ice-crea...

Restaurants are great, but in moderation. Our family eats out no more than 10 times a year. But when we do I instantly notice a change in mindset. We expect to be fed, entertained, taken care of. We feel important and entitled. We judge the decor, the menu  and service. I like restaurants, but I don't like to be in a "customer mode". When I cook at home it feels different. Making and serving food is a act of gift-giving. Consumption is about joy and gratitude. I don't worry about my guests giving a bad online review. My guests don't stress over the tip amount. But most importantly, we always keep in mind that it's not about the food, it's about interaction. In a restaurant some people also focus on interaction, but it is easy to 'slip' into consumption-only mode, focusing your eyes on the plate and not on a person in front of you. Which brings me to my idea of an anti-restaurant. It will be a place to build things together and enjoy the compan...

Some people are bored. I'm having too much fun. Some people are out of ideas. I'm having too many. Some people are looking for new recipes. I'm struggling to re-create the thing I did yesterday. Some people are afraid to improvise. I find it hard to rehearse. Like every other talent, Creative Genius is both a blessing and a curse. With so many cool new things coming up it's so hard not to forget all the great things you already have. So just to make sure I don't forget it, here's how I lost 40 lbs so far. Don't be perfect, just be. If you were perfect you would have been removed from this world. But if you're still here it means you have work to do. So "just do it". Even if it does not feel right, even if you suck at it, even if you tried last time and failed. Even if everyone is watching. Plan, do, analyze, repeat. Change takes time. So give yourself time. Change need space. So create space, push back, stop doing stuff unless you absolu...

Your savings, your income, your assets. Your love. Your time. Your life. Your blood. Your sweat. Your body. Your soul. Your kids. Your people. Your reputation. Your name. Your face. That's your buying power. You can buy a book, a car, a house. You can buy a favor. You can buy into an idea.  How much can you buy? How cheap? How fast? Are you getting a bargain? Is it a good deal? Do you even need it? Why did you buy? Does it make you happier? I realized buying does not really make me happy. But not buying does. And letting go of things I don't need does. When I was a teenager my dad explained to me once why he wants to have money: "I walk on the street and they are selling something. If I don't have money in my pocket I'll pass by and will be miserable because I can't afford the thing they are selling. But if I have money and time to check out the sale I'll come and look closer and will think to myself: "I don't need this crap". And I'...

Draft for TM speech #2 I started helping around the kitchen when I was a toddler, by the time I got to middle school I was doing all the food shopping for our family with a giant backpack. When I went to college I finally decided to learn how to cook. I was so successful at doing this that I and most of my friends were kicked out of school instead of learning we were cooking and throwing parties. First I wanted to go Pro, but then I figured that a computer programmer job pays better and since then I consider cooking a non-profit public service. I never had a formal education as a chef, but I was cooking almost every day for 20 years, I sudied many eastern and western, and fusion cusines, I keep learning, experimenting and getting better. And now in the next 4 minutes I'm going to tell you all I know about cooking. Cooking is about people, ingredients, timing and construction. People : when people enter your house come to greet them. Ask them about their day. Ask them what th...

 This was my Ice Breaker at Toastmasters a week ago. It went well. Mr. Jacob, Fellow Lost Fans, And most welcome others, Namaste ! For those of you who missed the orientation, "Lost" is a TV show about being lost in life, in time and in space, meeting new people on a sandy beach, shooting polar bears in a jungle and running away from smoke monsters. It's about Men of Science and Men of Faith, about love and mystery and Others. It's about Flashbacks , Submarines and Entering the Numbers into computer to save the world. About ancient history and magic light and Jacob. And ultimately it's about letting go. Coincidentally, my life so far was about the same things. It started in Kiev, Ukraine where my grandfather used to walk with me in the neighborhood until we would get lost.   Getting lost is easy when you are 3 years old. Just  take a step off a beaten path, a spin, get carried away in a conversation, and then look around - you're in this  is this...

I think I figured my binge eating before going to sleep. It's like joining a circus at 50 or finishing the bottle of liquor before saying goodbye to your friends. And it's again about metrics . Or, to be precise, about caring about the metrics too much. It's been such a wonderful day. It started with such a perfect weather. I had such a great intentions. I was going to make it the best day ever, I was going to beat the record, to stand out, to show them all... But guess what... I messed up. It did not work exactly the way I planned. I did not set the new standard of awesomeness. Moreover, now I have to acknowledge it and stamp it on today's date - forever! Go to sleep, turn the page, accept the disconnect between the vision and reality. And it's hard. It's scary. And you want to squeeze something else in, to change something, or maybe to alter your perception. I think the Jewish approach to counting days is a remedy for this problem. If your day starts with...

We cleaned, scraped, boiled water and poured it on shiny surfaces. We breathed the poisonous fumes from the self-cleaning oven. We sold our rice and beans and cereal. We finished our scotch, vodka an beer and did not buy more. We've thrown away loads of stuff we called food a week ago. And with sundown we lit the candle and searched for last bits and pieces of imperfection symbolized by Chametz. And then we said phrase in arameic that I would translate as follows:  "We tried hard. We did all we could. But we're not perfect. So just love us the way we are now and take us up and out" Happy Passover!

It was one of those nights... I came home, angry , tired, sad and hungry. I transferred all the good stuff from the fridge, the freezer and the pantry to the table, and prepared for a serious binge. I thought a little about the tactics: "I'll have this first, that next, and the other on top..." And then I just saw myself... and laughed out loud : I was building lines of defense. It was ridiculous. There was no way I could defend myself with plates of food against the changes, problems or people in my life. It was about a year ago. Now I'm 33 lbs lighter. I've changed and let go of some lines of defense. And as a result I have  lost some layers around my waist, so now I can move freely. I removed the fat mask from my face, and now you can see an unsuppressed emotion in my expression and a spark in my eyes. I stopped using hoards of overprotective words and now you can hear what I'm saying. That new person you see is not someone new. I've been here all a...

Do you know the adrenaline rush you feel while punching someone in a face? Time is slowing up, blood pumping... All martial arts training is about building you up for this unnatural action. But there's always an option not to punch. You can kick, you can push, bite, pinch, throw small things and hit with heavy things. You can run away , cry, collapse, stop breathing. You can talk, smile, tickle or give a kiss. Whatever you feel like. If it's the honest fight they want then the honest fight they're gonna get. Be brutally honest. What do you REALLY want to do?

 I love movies but for me the Oscars are about recognition and love and saying thanks. "I want to thank the Academy ..." The Oscars are about overpowering emotions, but I always felt that the intensity comes not from being in a spotlight and not from getting ahead, but from the realization that saying thanks is important. YOU are important. Your work, your love, your appreciation are important. Somehow they are validated by being in a spotlight, by holding to a shiny little idol, by winning. But what about the other nominees? How about the 'losers' who prepared their little acceptance speeches and but did not win? Did they stop being thankful? Did they throw away their thank-you lists or kept them for the next competition? My kids take a little long to shower. Not because they are neat freaks but because the glass door gets foggy, so they can scribble something like :"you're the best daddy ever I love you" and draw flowers and hearts and puppies a...

A year and 30 lbs ago I was starting to run 5K on a race track. It was tough. The voices in my head would try to convince me to stop it, to run faster, to run less , to run more. Then I would think of something simple to say to myself to quiet the voices. At first it was "Even if it kills me", then I thought of something less radical. I would repeat the lap number. "5 to go" or even more optimistic: "doing the 7th". Now it got warmer, and I'm running again. I don't have to repeat any mantras now. I look at the trees, I see the sky changing colors, the sun setting.  I breathe. I'm not competing. I'm not "doing cardio". I'm not "burning fat".  I just run. I like it.

Shut up and breathe. I choose what goes into my mouth. I choose what comes out. I won't starve. I will be heard. I don't have to eat junk. I don't need to say anything. Only if I want to. Only if it's good for me. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

How much do you weigh? How much do you bench? What's your test coverage? How much was your bonus this year? These are popular metrics. But are they important questions? Are you fit to live your life? Are you making progress or inviting injury? Are you moving too fast? Is your design useful? Is your software maintainable? Are you happy at work? These are important questions, but they are harder to measure. So we give up. And we obsess over metrics we don't understand to answer questions that don't matter. Or we refuse to measure at all, because answering irrelevant questions is beneath us. And then we end up in a place we don't like with too much time wasted and not enough energy to get out. I say: start small. Pick something. Measure something. Do it every day. Do it for a while.  Enough to gather personal statistics. Enough to build a habit of non-competitive measuring. And then invent a better metric. And start measuring something else that matters to YOU.

On Friday I spotted a Palm billboard advertisement: "Life Moves Fast. Don't miss a thing" It got me thinking... Of course it moves fast. Of course you'll miss a thing or two. Or two gazillion things. Actually, you SHOULD miss them. You'll be better off this way. As long as you know what matters to you. Because you won't miss a thing from this short list, Palm or no Palm.

You don't have to run. Just put on your running shoes. No need to work out, just get to the gym. No need to cook just heat the oven. No need to work on that strategic project. Just stop procrastinating and fidgeting for 5 minutes.