How to lose 45 pounds
6 months ago I did a post on losing 40 lbs. Now it's time for a rehash of that post. It's also a draft for my 7th TM speech, "Research your topic"
I lost 45 lbs in less then two years, and today I'm going to tell you how I did it. First of all, let's see what we're talking about: (Snatches a 45 lbs kettlebell) This is 45 lbs. You can pass it around. Please don't loose it!
By the way, let's revisit the terms. Do you think it's possible to loose 45 pounds? Try it! I'm sure it would be easy to find.
So first of all, you never lose 45 lbs at once. You need to slice it and dice it, chip little pieces, an ounce here, a quarter-pound there, and you keep doing other stuff to keep your mind occupied. Weight loss is what happens to you while you're busy doing other stuff. Same goes for weight gain. And growing old. And getting strong. And loosing your mind. It all takes time and consistency.
Now let's see if we have some weight loss experts here: how do you lose weight? Diet? Exercise? Awesome! You know everything and I can go home. The only thing is... For me it did not work I tried Diet and Exercise, and the harder I tried the more I was becoming like everybody else: ravenous and exhausted. And it's not that the diets I tried were bad, they were perfect! The low fat, low carb, low protein , low calorie, small portion diets, all those South Bitches, they were perfect, man! And the exercises, the training programs, the weights I lifted, the miles I ran, the kiba dachis, the Warrior Ones - they were awesome. It wasn't them, it was me. There was something wrong about me - I had no willpower, I cheated on my best and closest friends: on Mr. Atkins, Little Tony, and on that chick with the Anorexic cooking show. They cared about me, and I was not good enough. They kept creating perfect programs, and I kept dropping out.
And then , in the middle of the Anorexic Cooking show it happened: The blackout. I was on the couch and I was listening to my coach. And than the coach disappeared and I was left in the dark. I did not know what to do. I did not know left from right, carbs from fat, biceps from triceps. And then, I felt better. And I thought to myself: I don't need another a coach. I need a couch. A couch to lie on, to think, to breathe , to do nothing.
One couch. I don't need to go on another diet. It's dark. If I go I might slip again. Or , G-d forbid eat some evil food like carbs, fat, or animal protein. I don't need an exercise program, because it's dark, and I wouldn't know if I'm doing my set's and reps with a perfect form. And I wouldn't know if it's "All me". Maybe someone is helping me in the dark.
So when I'm hungry I find a way from the couch go to the fridge in the dark, and eat some food and get back. And when I'm bored of lying on the couch in the dark I get up and do something, but I need to take small and cautious steps so I don't injure myself in the dark. I was doing it for almost two years and in the dark somehow I lost 45 lbs. I lost 45 lbs in the dark without diet and exercise, without coaches. And in the dark I found something else.
This little bottle mysteriously appeared on my way from the couch to the the fridge and I could swear it was not there before. I heard a little 'clunk and there it was: elegant, enigmatic, intoxicating. I take little sips from it every morning and every morning the bottle is 3/4 full again. After a long research our scientists were able to reproduce the secret formula in this bottle and you can have a bottle just like that. for 99.99 ( retail value: 399.99). And then you too can lose 45 lbs without diet, exercise and coaching! Just go to www.snakeoil.info! Or call 1-888-snakeoil. If you call in the next hour you'll get a special one-move fat burning and metabolism boosting relaxation
Technique you can do right on your couch for 30 seconds to get abs like this!
I lost 45 lbs in less then two years, and today I'm going to tell you how I did it. First of all, let's see what we're talking about: (Snatches a 45 lbs kettlebell) This is 45 lbs. You can pass it around. Please don't loose it!
By the way, let's revisit the terms. Do you think it's possible to loose 45 pounds? Try it! I'm sure it would be easy to find.
So first of all, you never lose 45 lbs at once. You need to slice it and dice it, chip little pieces, an ounce here, a quarter-pound there, and you keep doing other stuff to keep your mind occupied. Weight loss is what happens to you while you're busy doing other stuff. Same goes for weight gain. And growing old. And getting strong. And loosing your mind. It all takes time and consistency.
Now let's see if we have some weight loss experts here: how do you lose weight? Diet? Exercise? Awesome! You know everything and I can go home. The only thing is... For me it did not work I tried Diet and Exercise, and the harder I tried the more I was becoming like everybody else: ravenous and exhausted. And it's not that the diets I tried were bad, they were perfect! The low fat, low carb, low protein , low calorie, small portion diets, all those South Bitches, they were perfect, man! And the exercises, the training programs, the weights I lifted, the miles I ran, the kiba dachis, the Warrior Ones - they were awesome. It wasn't them, it was me. There was something wrong about me - I had no willpower, I cheated on my best and closest friends: on Mr. Atkins, Little Tony, and on that chick with the Anorexic cooking show. They cared about me, and I was not good enough. They kept creating perfect programs, and I kept dropping out.
And then , in the middle of the Anorexic Cooking show it happened: The blackout. I was on the couch and I was listening to my coach. And than the coach disappeared and I was left in the dark. I did not know what to do. I did not know left from right, carbs from fat, biceps from triceps. And then, I felt better. And I thought to myself: I don't need another a coach. I need a couch. A couch to lie on, to think, to breathe , to do nothing.
One couch. I don't need to go on another diet. It's dark. If I go I might slip again. Or , G-d forbid eat some evil food like carbs, fat, or animal protein. I don't need an exercise program, because it's dark, and I wouldn't know if I'm doing my set's and reps with a perfect form. And I wouldn't know if it's "All me". Maybe someone is helping me in the dark.
So when I'm hungry I find a way from the couch go to the fridge in the dark, and eat some food and get back. And when I'm bored of lying on the couch in the dark I get up and do something, but I need to take small and cautious steps so I don't injure myself in the dark. I was doing it for almost two years and in the dark somehow I lost 45 lbs. I lost 45 lbs in the dark without diet and exercise, without coaches. And in the dark I found something else.
This little bottle mysteriously appeared on my way from the couch to the the fridge and I could swear it was not there before. I heard a little 'clunk and there it was: elegant, enigmatic, intoxicating. I take little sips from it every morning and every morning the bottle is 3/4 full again. After a long research our scientists were able to reproduce the secret formula in this bottle and you can have a bottle just like that. for 99.99 ( retail value: 399.99). And then you too can lose 45 lbs without diet, exercise and coaching! Just go to www.snakeoil.info! Or call 1-888-snakeoil. If you call in the next hour you'll get a special one-move fat burning and metabolism boosting relaxation
Technique you can do right on your couch for 30 seconds to get abs like this!