how to eat when you have to

Some people are bored. I'm having too much fun. Some people are out of ideas. I'm having too many. Some people are looking for new recipes. I'm struggling to re-create the thing I did yesterday. Some people are afraid to improvise. I find it hard to rehearse. Like every other talent, Creative Genius is both a blessing and a curse. With so many cool new things coming up it's so hard not to forget all the great things you already have. So just to make sure I don't forget it, here's how I lost 40 lbs so far. Don't be perfect, just be. If you were perfect you would have been removed from this world. But if you're still here it means you have work to do. So "just do it". Even if it does not feel right, even if you suck at it, even if you tried last time and failed. Even if everyone is watching. Plan, do, analyze, repeat. Change takes time. So give yourself time. Change need space. So create space, push back, stop doing stuff unless you absolu...

Your savings, your income, your assets. Your love. Your time. Your life. Your blood. Your sweat. Your body. Your soul. Your kids. Your people. Your reputation. Your name. Your face. That's your buying power. You can buy a book, a car, a house. You can buy a favor. You can buy into an idea.  How much can you buy? How cheap? How fast? Are you getting a bargain? Is it a good deal? Do you even need it? Why did you buy? Does it make you happier? I realized buying does not really make me happy. But not buying does. And letting go of things I don't need does. When I was a teenager my dad explained to me once why he wants to have money: "I walk on the street and they are selling something. If I don't have money in my pocket I'll pass by and will be miserable because I can't afford the thing they are selling. But if I have money and time to check out the sale I'll come and look closer and will think to myself: "I don't need this crap". And I'...

Draft for TM speech #2 I started helping around the kitchen when I was a toddler, by the time I got to middle school I was doing all the food shopping for our family with a giant backpack. When I went to college I finally decided to learn how to cook. I was so successful at doing this that I and most of my friends were kicked out of school instead of learning we were cooking and throwing parties. First I wanted to go Pro, but then I figured that a computer programmer job pays better and since then I consider cooking a non-profit public service. I never had a formal education as a chef, but I was cooking almost every day for 20 years, I sudied many eastern and western, and fusion cusines, I keep learning, experimenting and getting better. And now in the next 4 minutes I'm going to tell you all I know about cooking. Cooking is about people, ingredients, timing and construction. People : when people enter your house come to greet them. Ask them about their day. Ask them what th...

 This was my Ice Breaker at Toastmasters a week ago. It went well. Mr. Jacob, Fellow Lost Fans, And most welcome others, Namaste ! For those of you who missed the orientation, "Lost" is a TV show about being lost in life, in time and in space, meeting new people on a sandy beach, shooting polar bears in a jungle and running away from smoke monsters. It's about Men of Science and Men of Faith, about love and mystery and Others. It's about Flashbacks , Submarines and Entering the Numbers into computer to save the world. About ancient history and magic light and Jacob. And ultimately it's about letting go. Coincidentally, my life so far was about the same things. It started in Kiev, Ukraine where my grandfather used to walk with me in the neighborhood until we would get lost.   Getting lost is easy when you are 3 years old. Just  take a step off a beaten path, a spin, get carried away in a conversation, and then look around - you're in this  is this...

I think I figured my binge eating before going to sleep. It's like joining a circus at 50 or finishing the bottle of liquor before saying goodbye to your friends. And it's again about metrics . Or, to be precise, about caring about the metrics too much. It's been such a wonderful day. It started with such a perfect weather. I had such a great intentions. I was going to make it the best day ever, I was going to beat the record, to stand out, to show them all... But guess what... I messed up. It did not work exactly the way I planned. I did not set the new standard of awesomeness. Moreover, now I have to acknowledge it and stamp it on today's date - forever! Go to sleep, turn the page, accept the disconnect between the vision and reality. And it's hard. It's scary. And you want to squeeze something else in, to change something, or maybe to alter your perception. I think the Jewish approach to counting days is a remedy for this problem. If your day starts with...

We cleaned, scraped, boiled water and poured it on shiny surfaces. We breathed the poisonous fumes from the self-cleaning oven. We sold our rice and beans and cereal. We finished our scotch, vodka an beer and did not buy more. We've thrown away loads of stuff we called food a week ago. And with sundown we lit the candle and searched for last bits and pieces of imperfection symbolized by Chametz. And then we said phrase in arameic that I would translate as follows:  "We tried hard. We did all we could. But we're not perfect. So just love us the way we are now and take us up and out" Happy Passover!

It was one of those nights... I came home, angry , tired, sad and hungry. I transferred all the good stuff from the fridge, the freezer and the pantry to the table, and prepared for a serious binge. I thought a little about the tactics: "I'll have this first, that next, and the other on top..." And then I just saw myself... and laughed out loud : I was building lines of defense. It was ridiculous. There was no way I could defend myself with plates of food against the changes, problems or people in my life. It was about a year ago. Now I'm 33 lbs lighter. I've changed and let go of some lines of defense. And as a result I have  lost some layers around my waist, so now I can move freely. I removed the fat mask from my face, and now you can see an unsuppressed emotion in my expression and a spark in my eyes. I stopped using hoards of overprotective words and now you can hear what I'm saying. That new person you see is not someone new. I've been here all a...