Gamification of lions and gazelles

Every morning in Africa a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the lion or it will not survive. Every morning a lion wakes up and it knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle or it will starve. It doesn't matter if you are the lion or the gazelle, when the sun comes up, you better be running                                                                  African ProverbDan Woods writes in his Forbes article:

Gamification is about achieving goals using an engaging set of metrics-based interactions. It takes something usually seen in hindsight–performance–and breaks it down, looking at its most important component parts. Once performance is measured, participants can begin getting immediate feedback. Gamification can actually become an integral part of process design for a business, moving well beyond a clever way to hook twenty-something social media users.

Every morning in America ******** wakes up. And goes back to sleep. It knows it does not need to run faster. It knows that Lions are busy chasing virtual gazelles and Gazelles are running really fast trying to outrun ever-hungry robo-lions. ******** knows there's an unlimited supply of both Lions and Gazelles. ******** knows where to get them. They are not going anywhere. They are running in circles, gamified.

Gamification is not about playing the game. Gamification is using your wild side to become a domesticated game. 

VaYigash

Devar Torah for Friday Night - VaYigash

Did brothers go to Egypt because there was a famine and they needed food or because it was G-ds plan to make peace between brothers and Josef ? Yes and yes.
Did Jews stay in Egypt for 400 years because it made economic sense at the time or because it was G-ds plan and part of his promise to Abraham? Yes and yes.
Did Jews become enslaved as a result of assimilation or because it was G-ds plan and a necessary part of Jewish education for generations to come? Yes and yes.

But what was the point in the scripture that signified the beginning of enslavement? Our Sages tell us it's "Ve-Yahazu Bah" at the end of this week's Torah Portion. The Jews acquired the choicest  land in Egypt and took hold of it. Did they take hold of the land or did the land take hold of them? Yes and yes.

Did we come to US because it made economical sense or because it was part of G-ds plan for our growth and development? Yes and yes.
Are we living in the days of famine or is it over? How many possessions, accomplishments and money do we need? When can we stop making economical sense and start making sense? When can we go home? I don't know. But I know one thing: we should not repeat the mistake our people made in Egypt. We should not hold on to this land.

But what do we hold on to? Johebed, mother of Moshe was born right before Jews entered Egypt. The solution to the problem was provided the problem was created. This should be our clue.

We should hold on to our children, our spouses, our family , our community , our people. And when the time comes we'll get up and go, just like we did in Egypt. And the sooner the better.

Obesity and man’s search for meaning

Scarlett: As God is my witness, as God is my witness they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be hungry again. No, nor any of my folk. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill. As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again. 

            “Gone with the wind” (1939)

As God is our witness, we did not go hungry again. In 2011, every third American is obese. In 2008 I was obese too. Now, after losing 50 pounds, I want to help others to do what I did. And people do ask all the time: “How did you do it?”

And I always answer: “Gradually...”

What else can I say? I don’t represent the 50-billion weight loss industry. I have nothing to sell. I have no easy answers.  What I do have is a story. And it starts with Victor Frankl.

Victor Frankl was a Holocaust survivor and the founder of Logotherapy , the “Third Viennese School of Psychotherapy”.  In his book “Man’s search for meaning” he outlines the basic principles of Logotherapy:

§                     Life has meaning under all circumstances, even the most miserable ones.

§                     Our main motivation for living is our will to find meaning in life.

§                     We have freedom to find meaning in what we do, and what we experience, or at least in the stand we take when faced with a situation of unchangeable suffering

 In concentration camp, Frankl have set up a suicide watch unit and all of suicide attempts were reported to him. He has noted that only the people who could not find a meaning in their life would commit suicide.

But what does a suicide in a concentration camp has in common with an obese American? We have our food, we have our freedoms, and we are not killing ourselves, right?  Wrong! Obese person doubles a chance of an early death, so becoming and staying obese is literally a suicide. Every unnecessary bite you take while being obese is a little suicide.

Why do we do it? What makes us overeat? What makes us turn to food for comfort? We were born like this. For a baby, all the best things in the world are delivered in one magnificent all-inclusive, all-you-can eat package: food, drink, warmth, love, security, comfort and cure.

But then things get complicated… We have to work harder to get what we want.

We develop our tastes and ambitions, we become sophisticated and picky. We grow. And sometimes the growth hurts. When it happens we want to run for cover, we want to hide; we want to nourish our body and soul. And naturally we turn to what always used to work. We turn to food. There’s nothing wrong with it as long as it does not happen too often: our bodies need to store some fat to recover, to get ready for new challenges and the next spur of growth.  But if we recover too much, if we fail to challenge ourselves, if we forget to grow we become obese.

Obesity is a metaphor for unrealized potential.

Obesity is a symptom of overindulgence and fear.

Obesity is the most visible form of escapism.

Why do we overindulge? Because nourishing a body is easier than nourishing a soul. 

“What am I hungry for?” – It’s a much tougher question to answer metaphorically then literally. Especially if you are standing in a middle of an all-you-can eat buffet. Literally, you can eat almost anything. Metaphorically, you are hungry for perfection, for excellence, for the ultimate you. And it does not come cheap. It takes all of your fat, all of your muscles and bones. All of your blood, sweat and tears. All of your minutes and years.

There is one question that can help cure obesity and here it is: “Why am I here?”

Logotherapy tries to answer this question but you don’t need a therapist to keep pondering, to keep wondering, to stay curious. And as you keep asking yourself: “Why am I here?”, and as you keep answering this question with every action, you melt and crystallize. You show up.

Curing obesity is not about figuring out how to lose 50 pounds, it is about figuring out what to do with the remaining 180. It is not about building muscle, it is about doing something meaningful with your life.

When I grow up I'll be a social worker

Dear Wurzweiler Office of Admissions,

Please join me on a special ride. We are going to go back in time in search of life experiences. The journey of this kind is nothing new, and the older we get the more often we find time to go back in time. We go back to re-live the experiences and make sense of it all.

First Stop: Two weeks ago. Midtown Kollel.

            We finished learning the fifth chapter of Talmud tractate “Sanhedrin” that deals with Jewish approach to judging capital cases. I gave a short talk summarizing the most interesting parts of the chapter. What touched me the most was a note about Rabbi Yochanan, who lived 120 years and spent first 40 years “Be Pragmatia” - doing commerce, next 40 years - learning and the last 40 years – teaching…  Soon I’ll be 40 too, and it keeps me wondering: how did he pull it off? Can I do the same?

            When you are 20 you think you can do everything, at the same time. You can write the Great American Novel with your left hand while winning the arm-wrestling match with your right. And you can, for a while. Then, like most of us, you “follow the money”, and, like most of us, you “catch up” with the rest of the world who followed the money.  We all know you can’t make all the money out there. But can you make all the sense? Can you find the meaning of it all? Probably not. But at least Rabbi Yohanan tried. And he did it full-time.

            I have a good, interesting and intellectually stimulating “9 to 5” job that pays well. I have a meaningful, deliberate and exciting “5 to 9” life. I want to make my “9 to 5” as meaningful as my “5 to 9”.  I might not have 80 years to live, but all I want for myself from now on is learning and teaching with as little commerce mixed in as possible. I know it will be good, interesting, and intellectually stimulating and will pay well at the end.

Second Stop: Three years ago. A fancy Bar close to Wall Street.

            He had BTech from Indian Institute of Technology and an MBA from Indian Institute of Management. These collages are very tough to get into.

So he was a smart, ambitious guy. He also had a mortgage to pay, a wife to show off, a couple of kids to evade on a weekend, a nice suit and a VP title.  And maybe, just may be had a little too much to drink.

            - Integrity?! Who needs integrity! It’s good to make people BELIEVE you have integrity. But to have it??? It’s too expensive!

He was a colorful, almost cartoonish character: a migrane-inducing boss, an exaggerated brown-noser, a perfect villain.   I kept asking myself: “Is he for real? Could he be for real?”

I’m so glad that I met him, because he helped me to understand what I believe in, what I want to do, where I want to be. 

I believe in integrity, growth and inspiration.

I want to help where my help is needed most.

I want to be in a place where he would not want to work.

           

Third and last stop:       33 years ago. Children’s hospital, Kiev, Ukraine.

           

My mom came to pick me up after the adenoid removal surgery. A hospital is never a happy place, but a children’s hospital in the Soviet Union in late 70-s was not for the faint of heart.  Dark wards were overcrowded with weeping boys and girls dressed in bloody pajamas: parents were not allowed and nurses oftentimes did not bother to wash the little patients after the operation.

But as she reached my ward, it was different. No one in my ward was crying.

I was sitting on my bed. I was clean. (Somehow I was able to charm the nurses and they washed my face after the operation and gave me a new set of pajamas).  I was telling a story. A fairy tale. And everyone was listening. And the even ward looked a little bit less dark.

You see, I love to tell stories. And now I told you mine.

How to do your Work while keeping your job

                        Almost no one puts in the work to create or invent

                                                                        Seth Godin, “Linchpin”

For the last 10 years of my life I was putting myself in the same challenging situation: I would get a Software Developer job and would try to keep it for a while. It’s not very hard for me to get a job, because I interview well. Keeping a job is not hard either, because I’m a fast study and I welcome feedback. But it’s very hard for me to contain myself within a job description while keeping my sanity.

I like to shake things up, ask stupid questions, and do the impossible. And I like to do it 9-to-5.  It’s very hard to pull off for a number of reasons:

• Most people like security, boundaries and status. People don’t like changes An innovator is sometimes perceived as a ‘climber’ 
• Some people tend to work hard rather then smart, seeing clock-watchers as lazy and indifferent.
• No one likes to hear criticism. No one likes to throw away a piece of work they invested their time in. No one likes to feel non-inventive or non-creative.

But for a creative person, not creating is torture. For an inventor, not inventing is suicide.

Let’s define Work as something no one else can do, because you were born to do it. Let’s define a job as a sum of expectations that sometimes manifests in a job description. How can you do your Work on the job? How can you change the world, make friends, and be home for dinner? I don’t have the ultimate answer but I’ll tell you what works for me.

ü      Stay curious and fascinated. Never stop asking questions. Make every co-worker your mentor. It makes people feel respected and valued. Acknowledge a good idea whenever you see it. Don’t forget to say “WOW”. Don’t forget to say “Thanks”

ü      Worry about co-workers first. Your first inventions should help your co-workers, not your clients. See what your colleagues are spending most of their time on, find what hurts them the most and try to fix it. Make peace. Fix a broken window. Bring an apple to a hungry teacher.

ü      Get to know your users or clients. What bothers them? What’s missing? What would make them happy beyond belief? No go and invent something.

ü      Build the first prototype, write up a design, draw a picture, do something tangible. Invest time to make it pretty. Now take it to your mentors, one by one and humbly accept criticism. Improve. Iterate. Repeat.

ü      Once you have something ready, present it to anyone who has time to listen. Never stop selling your product. Keep telling stories, keep asking questions. And keep praising your mentors for the wonderful ideas and assistance in doing your project.

The approach I described can be easily illustrated in a family environment. A family gets home. Everyone is hungry. The designated cook goes to the kitchen and starts cooking. An hour later, the family gathers at the table. As they taste the food, the people might think: “That’s not my favorite dish” or “It’s not cooked right”. But if the cook asks the family members to come over and help in the kitchen, then everyone will enjoy working together and will enjoy the result much more. It’s harder to be critical about the result if you invested an effort in the process. And if everyone enjoyed the food it’s easier to ask someone to do the dishes.

4 additions to the prayer

A couple of weeks ago we started learning Gemarah "Taanit" with Shalom. I love it. On the third page there is a discussion of 4 seasonal additions to the prayer, that mention Dew, Wind, Clouds and Rain. And it says that one has to beg for rain only, because other three will be there anyways. I thought of a metaphoric way to interpret it:

Dew is a metaphor for your daily livelihood, a slow and steady progress you make in your endeavors (the mannah was covered with the layer of dew).

Wind is a metaphor for changes, moving and shaking, excitement and unexpectedness.

Clouds are a metaphor for the comforts of life. (Ananei ha Kavod , the clouds of glory followed the Jews in the desert and provided the shade. Not a necessity, but very nice-to-have)

And Rain is the metaphor for Torah.

So here's what I learned: you will get your livelihood, your unexpected changes and your little comforts anyways. Don't worry about them too much. Don't ask for more. Don't complain if you think you did not get enough.

The only thing worth begging for is Torah. Beg for more. Every day.

Shana Tova!

Weight Loss: the big picture

This blog is gradually turning into collection of speaking points, speech drafts etc. So be it. This is an overview of a personalized weight loss program for a friend of mine. Mostly speaking points.


What do you want?


So you think you want to lose weight? Good for you! Because this answers the very first question we are going to ask every week. Have an answer every week. Think hard about what you really want - every week. The answer may change overtime. The answer SHOULD change eventually because eventually you are going to get what you want. And then you should find something else you want as badly as you want to lose weight - now.

One week you might want to lose weight, one week you might want to learn to run fast, one week you might want to squat 500lbs, one week you might want to kick and punch like Bruce Lee. It's all good. But whatever you choose, stick with it for a while. All the specific results in a particular sport, all the side effects of weight loss are just a nice bonus. Don't focus on them when you do weight loss. And don't focus on weight loss if you want to achieve something specific in a particular sport.

What does it take to get there?


So you know you want to lose weight. But what does it take to get there? Does it matter? If you know what you want, and you have the time, the energy and the dedication - you'll get there - eventually.

Time, energy and dedication. Three things you can't produce, three things you never have enough of. Three things that are not things.

How can you get more time? You can't. 24 hours is all you got. You have to make time by NOT doing something else. By doing LESS of something else. Just do me a favor, don't save on sleep, because this is counter-productive.

How can you get more energy? You can't. Energy drinks and energy bars are just sugar. You consume enough energy to stay afloat, 2000 or so calories a day, 15000 or so calories a week. The only way to have more energy is to spend less energy. By doing less, by stressing less, by exercising less, by working smarter and not harder.

How do you find more dedication? Is this question even grammatically correct? You don't find dedication. You show dedication by expending energy overtime. It takes time to show dedication. It takes energy - every time. You show dedication by not saying 'Yes' to everything. You show dedication by saying "No" most of the time. And then your "Yes" actually means something.

I can tell you what helped me to get where I am right now. I lost 48 lbs in about 2 years, I still try to lose weight, although people tell me I don't need to.  Diet : learning how to consume. Exercise: learning how to produce. People: learning to help someone to help you.

We'll keep covering the three pillars of weight loss: Diet, Exercise, People in the following conversations, but let me define them now.

Diet is not something you do after a day, a month or years of 'misbehaving'. Diet is about getting what you need - every day, every month, every year - forever, even when no onе is watching.

Exercise is not something you do to look a certain way. Exercise is doing what you really want to do - every day, every month, every year - forever, even when no one is watching.

People are the most beautiful, complicated and frustrating problems one can have. And they are good problems to have - every day, every month, every year - forever. Make sure someone is watching!

What do I want?


Just like all other people, I am going to be your problem and here is what I want from you - every time we are going to meet. Have an answer to these questions: What do you want? What worked so far? What do you want to change? And most importantly, even if you don't have an answer to these questions - show up.

To be continued...